Surviving Breakups – There Is Hope!
Surviving a breakup can seem like a daunting task. You may feel like your heart has been ripped out. You’re overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, and it may seem like the world as you know it has come to an end. These feelings can have devastating effects causing you to feel depressed, become immobilized or do crazy and illogical things. A relationship breakup with someone you’ve loved is not unlike the death of a loved one, which is why you feel so many painful emotions.
When it comes to breakups, some people experience a lot more heartache and pain than others. Some folks just get up and carry on with their lives, while there are others that just can’t. I’ve been there, so I know how it’s possible to get so lost in grief that you forget how good life can be. The pain is real!
The good news is you don’t have to be one of the lost souls who die of a broken heart. There are steps you can take, a method for picking up the pieces of your broken heart and putting them back together again. By following these steps you can start feeling better again soon, and learn how to just get up, dust yourself off and start living again!
5 Tips To Get Over A Broken Heart
Anytime you get into a relationship, you tend to put your entire heart into the relationship. You put all of your emotions into the relationship. So when the relationship finally ends, you feel stuck, lost. Figuring out how to deal with your broken heart after a breakup can be difficult and confusing. However, if you want to get over a broken heart, you need to make a conscious effort to heal. While every person will find success in different ways, with different methods, these 5 tips can help you get over a broken heart a little faster.
Have a Rebound
Some people have a rebound relationship as a distraction, a small escape from their overall heartbreak. Others see a rebound as an opportunity to move on and be done with their broken heart altogether. Having a rebound relationship can be a great short-term, or long-term way to get over someone who has broken your heart.
Call Old Flames
Sometimes talking with people you used to be in love with (assuming you’re still on good terms) is a great way to mend a broken heart. Talking to that person you used to know and be close to, will simply help to remind you that you’ve been here before, dealt with the heartbreak, and that you prevailed. It can be a good reminder and confidence boost for anyone dealing with a breakup.
If you are dealing with a broken heart right now, you need to treat yourself to some of your favorite things. Splurging on your favorite items, activities, or foods will help to distract you, and give you some enjoyment during this rough time.
Surround Yourself with Friends
Another way of dealing with a broken heart is to surround yourself with loved ones. Hanging out with friends and family will not only make you feel better, but will help you to get centered and in touch with the person you were before the relationship. Being around people who love you is a great way to slowly get over someone who doesn’t anymore.
Talk to a Counselor or Therapist
At first, the idea of talking to a counselor or therapist for a broken heart may seem to be a little much for the situation. The fact is, these professionals can seriously help you deal with your heartache. A therapist will simply help you work out the issues you are dealing with. You can talk openly and freely with them. Many people feel they are able to open up more to a professional, since they know they will not be judged. This back-and-forth conversation with a stranger can help you to deal with your feelings of heartache.
It is important to realize that each and every one of you will find success in a different way. While some of you may find that a rebound relationship is the best way to get over your broken heart, others of you may find success by surrounding yourself with friends and family. You need to think about your own personality and level of heartache, and choose the best method, or methods that will work for you.
Surviving A Breakup… Difficult But Doable
When It’s Time To Move On
Dealing with a breakup is difficult. There are no doubt, a lot of hurt feelings and negative emotions and, regardless of who instigated the breakup, it’s probably just as hard on your ex as it is on you. Though you may seem overwhelmed with emotion, and feel as though there is a giant hole in your heart that can never be filled, you must remain strong. Take comfort in the fact that you aren’t the first couple to break up and you won’t be the last. You and your ex will move on… and you will survive.
When faced with the task of moving on, there are a number of tips which will help you survive your breakup. Though it won’t happen overnight and it may sound like a cliche’, “time does heal all wounds”. The first thing you need to do is deal with the pain. You can’t bottle it up but rather you must let it flow until it begins to dissipate. Otherwise it will eat you up.
Breaking up with someone you loved is pretty much emotionally the same as the death of a loved one. You’re likely to go through the five stages of grief : Denial; Anger; Bargaining; Depression and finally Acceptance (though not necessarily in exact order). You need to know that you’re going to feel these emotions, you will feel pain. It’s okay to cry if you need to, to scream if you’re angry, to write down your feelings. This is all good and it’s the way you work through the pain.
Once you’ve worked through the pain and reached a focused and calm state (refer to the calm the mind technique above), you are in a position to better evaluate the situation and get a clear picture of where you and your ex are at this point. Is it time to move on? How do you feel about him/her now? Is there still feelings or any chance that you might want to get back together, and would you even want to at this point? Knowing where you’re at and being able to answer these questions in a calm and centered manner will allow you to make good decisions as you move forward. Not always but usually, you will find that the relationship is truly over. At this point it is time to come to terms with this fact and take the next step.
Previous post: Men Are Easy
Once you’ve decided to move on for good, it’s time to remove any overlaps in life that connect you and your ex. This includes any property that you two have exchanged or left at each others homes. This sort of negotiation and separation should be done in a civil and calm manner. You want to eliminate these connections so that nothing is left as an emotional landmine later on in your lives. Once you’ve eliminated all connections and completely separated, then what you may want to do is to perform a finalizing ritual. A symbolic event which involves letting go by using a symbolic effigy of your ex. You could burn one of their letters, their photo, throw away their leftovers, and delete their files off your computer and so on. This symbolic gesture is for your benefit. This is how you get closure.
Finally, use whatever support is available to you, be it family, friends, co-workers. Just because you’ve moved on doesn’t mean you won’t still feel pain or loneliness from time to time. This is natural. Getting over a loved one is a process that involves time. Having a family member to talk to or a friend to go out and have a drink with just to get some feelings off your chest, can be helpful and healing. The one thing to remember when surviving breakups is “This too shall pass”.
Please feel free to leave a comment or share any tips or experience you have on surviving breakups. Thanks!