First Date Tips Success: Simple First Date Conversations, Tips, Ideas, and Advice You Can Use
The first date with a woman can be a nerve-wracking experience.
You want it to go well, but you’re worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. In fact, they’re moments when you get so worked up about this date you almost feel like calling up this woman and canceling it!
But I have a secret for you… There is a system to ensuring an incredible first date with a woman!
You might think this system involves bringing a woman to a fancy restaurant and showing her with gifts! But that’s the case.
A perfect first date doesn’t involve stuffy restaurants or kissing a girl’s butt. All you really need to do is plan out your first date and make sure you create the right kind of environment that’ll help you build rapport and attraction.
Here’s a bit of what I’ll cover in this article.
- How to get a girls number and set up the first date
- First date ideas and where to take her
- Guidelines for a successful first date
- Questions you should ask on the first date
- How to transition from the first date to the second date and even to the bedroom
As you can see, we cover a lot of stuff in this first date tips article.
So let’s get started…
- 1 Step 1: Set Up the Date
- 2 Step 2: Where to Go for your First Date
- 3 Step 3- Guidelines for the Perfect First Date
- 4 Step 4 – What to Do After the First Date (Part 1)
- 5 Step 4 – What to Do After the First Date (Part 2)
- 6 Step 4 – What to Do After the First Date (Part 3) & Conclusion
Step 1: Set Up the Date
Setting up the first date is the most important step to this process.
Obviously if you can’t do this, there is no chance of going on a date. So you have to know the right way to ask a girl on a date.
One of the best ways to do this is to think like a salesman and assume the sale.
Salesmen are renowned for persuading folks to purchase their products. If you pay attention to their techniques, you can learn a lot about human nature and how to influence other people.
In fact, their one technique of “assuming the sale” is so effective it could become your secret weapon to increasing your chances of setting up dates with attractive women.
Now you can easily implement this tactic when you’re talking to a woman. Instead of “assuming the sale”, you’re “assuming the date”.
Here’s how to do it…
After approaching and talking to a woman for awhile, you’ll get an idea if she’s interested in you. When you determine she’s attracted to you, you should then transition into the “assuming the date” mode.
Just say something like this:
“I really enjoyed talking to you!. We should go out sometime. Which is a better day, Wednesday or Thursday?”
Now this part is important…
Once you ask this question, lock eyes with her and wait for a response. Don’t say anything until she does!
It’s like a standoff, where the first person to speak loses.
If you’ve read her signals right, she’ll respond with one of the selections you gave her.
After she agrees to a date, get her number and tell her you’ll call her in a few days to finalize plans. To do this, you can pull another “assuming the date” move and tell her:
“Great, we’ll go grab a drink at ______. I’ll give you a ring in a few days to finalize plans. Which do you want to give me, your home or cell number?”
I like this technique because in a few minutes you can go from meeting a woman to setting up a date and getting her number. All of this is done without asking permission to call her.
It’s also a great tactic because you’re able to show confidence while avoiding the possibility of rejection!
Now in order to go on a date, you’ll have to think of a place to go. In the next step I’ll give a few ideas to help you out…
Step 2: Where to Go for your First Date
Your first date should be low key and fun!
That’s why you must ensure you take her to right place.
While you want to impress a woman, you also have to make sure you’re not appearing to be too overeager.
The one mistake guys make on the first date is to bring a woman to a fancy restaurant and buy her expensive gifts.
Unfortunately this does nothing to build attraction. Instead it creates too much pressure and makes her feel uncomfortable.
So instead of blowing tons of money on your first date and creating an uncomfortable situation, you should focus on thinking of first date ideas which are both memorable and fun.
What you want to do is think of an activity that’ll allow you to establish an emotional and physical connection. If you both have a good time, then you can go on a second date that is more *standard*- like going to a restaurant.
Now there are a LOT of cool places you can use for a great date. In a great resource, 300 Dates which gives you great ideas on places you can go for a date.
Here are three general ideas you can use to create a great date:
Idea #1- Meet for drinks or coffee
While meeting for drinks or coffee is a *standard* date idea which many people use, it’s still very effective for getting to know a woman in a low-key environment.
When you meet for drinks or coffee, you’re able to converse in a casual manner without the pressure of facing each other from across a restaurant table.
What I like about meeting for drinks or coffee is you’re within a distance to establish physical contact. This means you’re able to flirt and emphasize different things during your conversation which helps to build attraction.
Idea #2- Play games
Another great place to bring a woman on a date is to a place where you can play games like a pool hall, miniature golf, the boardwalk or a video arcade.
What I love about playing games on a first date is you’re able to avoid the pressures that often come with meeting for the first time. You can have fun while being competitive and behaving in a playful manner.
Idea #3- Get physical
Okay when I say *get physical*, I’m not talking about sex (yet).
Instead I’m talking about a first date idea where you do something which involves in a physical activity.
Whether you’re going for a hike, rollerblading or ice skating, engaging in a physical activity can be fun. It’s also a good
Step 3- Guidelines for the Perfect First Date
When you’re on your first date, there are a few rules you should follow. If you’re able to pay attention to them, your chances of success on this date will dramatically increase.
Below, I’ve listed 5 tips that’ll virtually guarantee a great time on your first date:
Tip #1- Remove all expectations and worries
Probably the biggest problem guys face on their first date is being too worried about being perfect. While it’s important to make a good impression, you shouldn’t put too much emphasis on say or doing the right thing.
An easy way to do this is to remove all expectations about the outcome of the date. If it goes badly, the only thing you’ve wasted is a little time and money. But if you have a great time, then you might find a great woman to take on future dates.
By not worrying about the outcome of the date, you’ll be able to converse with her in a casual yet confident manner.
Tip #2- Limit your time
Another mistake guys make is to plan out an extravagant event for the first date.
When you first meet a woman, you’re using this time to qualify her as someone who you might want to date in the future.
As I mentioned before, the best solution is to plan something that is low-key, fun and only lasts for an hour. That way, you haven’t wasted too much of your time or money on a situation where you’re not compatible.
Tip #3- Have fun and flirt
The secret for having a great first date is to build rapport and attraction.
In fact, when you’re out with a woman on the first date, building rapport should be your first concern.
If there isn’t attraction between the two of you, the date will go nowhere. So it’s important to have fun and flirt with her.
This basically means that you look for every opportunity to tease her and bring sexual innuendos into the conversation.
Step 4 – What to Do After the First Date (Part 1)
As you come to the end of your first date you’ll probably wonder ‘what’s the next step’?
So what should you do at this point?
Well your actions at this point should be based on how well the date went. If you had a great time, then you know you can try for another date. On the other hand, if you two didn’t click, then you should cut your losses and not try for a second date.
To give you an idea of what you should do, I’ve included four different outcomes that’ll happen once your date has concluded. When you’re coming to the end of the date, you should do a quick evaluation and make a decision based on which of these four results you want.
Result #1: Go your separate ways
Let’s be honest here…
There are going to be first dates where you don’t hit it off with a woman.
Either there is no chemistry or your personalities don’t mesh it’ll be obvious the two of you won’t going on a second date.
Once you realize it won’t work, end the date and cut your losses!
Since the date was brief, you really haven’t wasted that much time or money. By ending the date quickly you’ll be able to avoid hurt feelings and will move on to the next woman.
So when you realize the date has gone badly, just end and tell her you have stuff to do.
But please be honest and don’t promise to call her you’re never planning on speaking to her again.
Previous article: How to Get Over Someone
Step 4 – What to Do After the First Date (Part 2)
Result #2: You set up a second date
Many guys think a first date is only successful if you end up having sex. In my opinion, this is total bullshit.
There are a lot of times when you want to have a lot of fun on a first date, but don’t want it to lead to sex. This is especially true if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
During your first date, you’ll probably get an idea if there is chemistry between the two of you. At this point, you can try two things:
First you can suggest a ‘venue change’ (I’ll cover this in the next section) and go on an immediate second date.
Or you can end the date if one of you has already made plans after the first date.
Now if one of you has to leave after the first date, I suggest you immediately set up a follow up date.
Here’s how to do it;
As you’re ending the date, take something from the conversation and playfully turn it into concrete plans for landing that second date.
For instance if she expressed interest in a particular type of music mention that you’re checking out a band which is similar to her taste. Then ask if she wants to ‘tag along’ with you.
Or even now that you’ve broken the ice, you could go out to dinner or promise her a home cooked meal. The point is one the first date has ending, immediately make plans for the second plan.
Result #3: Transition immediately to the second date
One technique many guys use at the end of a first date is to do a ‘venue change’. This is where you leave the location of your first date and immediately go another place.
Since you’re changing locations the woman will subconsciously think you’ve gone from the first date to a second date.
As I mentioned before, your first date should be real casual. But if you feel a lot of chemistry has been built, you can use a venue change to continue the positive emotions and go someplace where the two of you’ll get to know each other better.
The best way to do a venue change is to plan it out before the first date. If things go well, you can casually mention you’re planning on meeting some friends at this place and ask if she wants to ‘tag along’.
If she agrees you should immediately leave the location of your first date and transition right into the second.
Step 4 – What to Do After the First Date (Part 3) & Conclusion
Result #4: Make things sexual
Regardless of whether you’ve pulled a venue change or just had a single date, there might be an opportunity to have sex with a woman on the first date.
Now before we proceed, I just want to mention that having sex on the first date is an event that doesn’t happen very often, especially if you’re trying to build a relationship. So don’t be too disappointed if it doesn’t happen.
On the other hand, if you’re determined to have sex then you should first find out if she is interested in you in a sexual way.
Having an incredible first date is an important step towards building a great relationship with a woman. Whether you’re looking for a quick fling or something more long-term, your first date will set the precedence for how well things will go.
If you take the time to pick the right activity and focus on building attraction your first date will be an instant success. However if you don’t think the day through and things go awry, you’ll have little to no chance of building any relationship with this women.
Just follow the five steps I outlined in this article and you’ll have Instant First Date Success!