Do you want a relationship that withstands the test of time?
Good, strong relationships don’t come easy. They require constant attention if they’re going to last. The dynamics of a partnership change just as often and just as much as each of the individual people involved change. So, to keep things going well takes some effort, but the payoff is enormous.
- 1 7 powerful tips that will help you keep the fire burning
- 2 It Takes Effort and time
7 powerful tips that will help you keep the fire burning
The more you invest in each other, the happier you are not only as a couple but as individuals. You experience a whole new level of life satisfaction as you are caught in this fascinating web of life as one, yet with your own individual unique qualities.
So, how do you create a relationship that continues to flourish day after day and year after year? Here are seven powerful tips that will help you keep the fire burning:
Tip #1: Put love before all other emotions
There are going to be times when you’re not happy with something your partner has done. That’s a fact of life. He or she will unknowingly, and usually unintentionally, say or do something that rubs you the wrong way; just as you will do to him or her.
When your gut instinct may be to lash out and return the feeling, remember that love must always come first. The more room you give to other emotions, the less you have for this top priority feeling, which is the whole reason you’re together in the first place.
When you have issues that need to be dealt with, approach them from a position of caring and tenderness, not one of bitterness, anger and resentment. By taking this route, you’ll be less likely to say or do something hurtful and your partner will be more open to what you have to say if he or she isn’t busy defending themselves from your attack.
Tip #2: Always be respectful
Much in line with keeping love first, it’s important that you both feel respected and cherished if the relationship is going to outlast most of the others you see today. Once you start walking all over each other or disregarding how your actions may affect your partner, you’re on a downward slide.
Treat your partner the way you’d treat a stranger on the street. Use kind words and don’t forget your basic human etiquette. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and consider how your actions will impact them.
If he or she does something that upsets you, don’t call names and try to make them feel subhuman. Approach issues with respect and dignity because that is what any important relationship deserves.
Tip #3: Stay in the present and be forgiving
The more time you spend concerned over what happened last week, last month or last year, the less time you have to truly live today. And, if you stay focused on something that cannot be changed, you don’t have the time to dedicate to things that can.
If something happened in the past that you’re having a hard time moving beyond, you have two options: deal with it or let it destroy you. That’s not to say that dealing with it is easy, but if you’re committed to staying in the relationship, you may just have to let it go.
There’s nothing you can do to change it because it already happened. Let past bygones go. Focus on what you have here and now and make each day count.
Tip #4: Think of yourselves as a team
A lot of relationships fail when the two people involved think of themselves as individuals as opposed to a team. Sure, you want to retain your unique qualities, but if you don’t work as a partnership, it isn’t going to last.
Think of sports. How would each team do if the individual players were only out for themselves? They’d probably have quite a losing streak, right? The same is true when it comes to relationships.
Every action you take should keep your partnership in consideration. Not that you always have to sacrifice yourself and ‘take one for the team’, but sometimes it is necessary.
Tip #5: Reaffirm your commitment often
If you aren’t wholeheartedly committed to your relationship day in and day out, you leave it wide open for little crevices to begin to form in your foundation. Whether consciously or subconsciously, if you question whether you should still be in a partnership with the other person or let little leaks turn into big holes, there will be room for someone or something to widen the gap between the two of you.
When you approach your relationship from a stance of commitment, you will always work to strengthen it and be less likely to be swayed by any external force. You’ll put in the effort because you know it’s worth it in the end.
Tip #6: Don’t forget the little things
Lasting relationships aren’t built around big things, but the little day-to-day things. It’s having your morning cup of coffee ready when you wake up or pulling into the driveway after work to see the garbage cans already taken to the garage. It’s that little note that says “I love you” put on your bathroom mirror or the text in the middle of the day that says “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
These are the things that matter. They are like the individual strands in a string of rope. Each one on their own may seem frail and weak, but put them together and you have something absolutely unbreakable.
Tip #7: Make time for each other
If you get too busy focusing on work, the kids and everything it takes to run a household, it may be quite easy to set your relationship on the back burner. You have to take care of your other obligations, right? The other person will understand, you tell yourself.
While that may work for a short period of time, it won’t last for long. Arguably, there are times when other obligations have to come first. However, to always make your relationship last on the list doesn’t give it the respect and consideration it deserves.
It’s like buying a brand new car and never taking the time to wash it because other things come first. Your car isn’t going to stay nice for long if you don’t work to keep it shiny and new.
It Takes Effort and time
Yes, a relationship takes hard work and effort to insure that it will withstand the test of time. But when it does, you’ll be so thankful that you took the steps necessary because you’ll have a life so full and complete, you’ll wonder if it gets any better than this.
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